Trying To Understand What Can Not Be Explained
Journal Entry April 9, 2013
Phenomenon: : an exceptional, unusual, or abnormal person, thing, or occurrence
I am sure you have read Grace’s post as we journeyed home from Texas last Thursday/Friday. In her post she related the doctor told her if the chemo doesn’t work and the tumors continue to grow at the present growth rate, she would have approximately 6 to 8 weeks before the tumors take her life.
Well, when Grace said she wasn’t worried that wasn’t just inspiring words on a screen…. She meant it with her whole heart. After praying about the treatment plan over the weekend, she heard God tell her, “Wait on chemo.” So, she has. She was to start chemo yesterday but instead she has asked for prayer. Our wonderful sister in the Lord, Tammy Cason, is coming by our home to lay hands on her, anoint her with oil and pray over her. Grace was excited by the results which eased her pain tremendously for hours after Tammy left.
This is not a picture of one who has given up or given in. This is the picture of a true warrior who is holding her ground. This decision to wait was not an easy decision. When she found out chemo was available and she could get back on it so soon, she was looking forward to it just to ease her pain. So, she has not taken the easy way but she has chosen God’s way, which makes it the right way.
Needless to say, she is battling hard!! She remains in constant pain and is throwing up since Sunday. But she remains resolute in her faith and is not wearied in the process. I tell her constantly she is a PHENOMENON!! Where most would be clawing with desperation for chemo in the face at what is at stake, she looked at the situation and said…”Watch this!! I’m not even going to take chemo until my Lord releases me to do so!!”
I apologize for the lengthy update, but wanted to give the whole picture. Grace has asked for prayer and she needs it. She is battling so hard but I can honestly say she is battling WELL!!
(One quick excerpt from our conversation yesterday at the doctor’s office: After telling the doctor her plans to wait. In the face of the reality of her not feeling well at all…hurting and exhausted and throwing up and feeling nauseated all the time, I asked, “Grace, is there any place in you that is afraid? Are you fearful at all?” Her response, “Fearful about what?” At that moment I knew there was no fear in her but only faith. But I said, “Fearful about this not working, fearful about your pain, fearful about dying?” She looked over at me with this incredulous look on her face and simply said, “Pshhmf, uh, no!” Like I stated earlier, PHENOMENON!! God knows I love that girl!!)
Status Update By Gracie Smith
I was suppose to get chemo yesterday… But I heard The Lord say “wait on chemo” so we talk to my doctor about it and he fully supported my decision… But please keep me in you’re prayers! I’m battling hard.. Hurting all day, throwing up anything I eat… I feel like this is the hardest battle I have encountered this whole journey… But I’m still in Faith that I’m beating this! I’m just asking for prayer. Thank you everyone that is fighting with me!