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Trying To Understand What Can Not Be Explained

Beauty of the Rainbow

After the Storm

After the Storm

Journal Entry May 28, 2013

You are walking through your day, thoughts and actions skimming the surface of your mind. You are traveling 100 mph trying to get done all that needs to get accomplished for that day. Then a thought, a memory, a song, a word or a sound comes along and you are brought up short, skidding to a numbing stop. And, it is like an anchor drops and takes your heart with it into the depths of loss and pain…. Everyone who has lost someone they love deeply knows of what I am speaking. The pain is immeasurable and the loss literally and entirely unspeakable.

It is these times the Father reminds me of the Rainbow. Not the fact of why there is a rainbow, for we all know after every storm comes the rainbow. (It has become a cliché for looking for the “bright” side of things.) No, nothing mundane like that at all comes from our Father. What He gently reminds me is about His nature. What is reveled through the giving of the rainbow as a sign of His covenant with us.

If you were to ask me what the sign of His covenant should be, I would be answering things like-Great Lightening or Deep Thundering or Massive Wind or the like. But, my sign would end up looking a great deal like the storm. What He is showing me is what is available after the storm. He is revealing His nature and I am being comforted.

He chose the rainbow. You have to look up after the storm to see the rainbow. Rainbows bring delight. No one, not even children, are afraid of the rainbow. Rainbows are beautiful and delicate and bold. And you have to position yourself just right to behold its wonder.

I must not forget to look up and beyond my circumstances throughout my day. Lift up my head and delight in the things around me and delight in my Father. He is a good Father who loves deeply and knows the hurt and destruction storms bring. That is why He is not only there with me through the storm to bring peace but why He sets as a reminder of Himself after the storm. Many chase the rainbow, but can never reach it. Just as the rainbow is unattainable, so are His promises of peace, hope, and comfort if that is what I am chasing. Only in Him will I find His promise of a future and a hope. I must run to Him. He can be found. He wants to be found. And, He desires to pour His love over my hurt and affliction. That is the beauty of His nature captured in the rainbow.

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2 comments on “Beauty of the Rainbow

  1. Ruth Wilburn Banks
    June 13, 2013

    I know exactly what ‘skidding to a numbing stop is like’. It is not Christmas or birthdays that catch you off guard. You know when these days arrive and you have thought through, anticipating their arrival, what to expect and possibly even how to feel. It’s the little things, the seemingly insignificant things that catch you off guard and slap you to the ground. You don’t even know how to think much less what to do. Let me tell you…it will never go away and you really don’t ever want it to. You don’t want to get to a point where you say…OK, I’ve dealt with that and now it’s over and in my past. Absurd! It will though…and Laura I promise…it will get better. For me, it was like I found a place to put it(all the feelings, all the missing them, all the connections to them, all the special times with them that were now gone)…I found a place for them all. It feels calmer, It is satisfying that this is the way things are now and of course it is comforting to know they are much better off than you and I. They are where they’re suppose to be and we all are going. They are the ones that were lucky enough to get to go first. It’s not the expected way to bury your child and you have to wonder why you were ask to give her up. She was only on loan to begin with and Jesus knows you did a super fantastic job caring for His little Gracie that He gave you for this short time. There is, however, no time at which this whole situation will remedy itself. I will tell you patience and prayers are the only way to assist. You will work yourself through and you will help your family do the same and in turn you are helping yourself even more. I prayer for y’all everyday. You only have to get through one day at a time anyway. Love y’all so much and don’t forget about our dinner date.

    • Laura G. Smith
      July 2, 2013

      Thank you so much for your kind and caring words. Your heart is the biggest I’ve seen. You are a blessing to all you touch. We continue to walk this out one step at a time. I know we are not alone. Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. Much love to you and your family. God bless you!

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